Emily Haden Lee is a creative artist and a singer-songwriter of great perception and sensitivity. She grew up in a small town in Missouri before moving to the city of Chicago, where she currently lives with her musician husband Alex Lee. Her debut album The Woman I Would Be was released in September 2024 and is a work of real insight, impressive depth, and hard-earned wisdom. Tackling issues such as self-doubt, depression, addiction, grief and self-realisation, it is a work of lasting quality and wrapped in timeless observations of all that it takes to be human. On the verge becoming a mother for the first time, with the birth of her daughter imminent, Emily sat down to reflect upon her life journey thus far and gives valued insight into the process behind what is without doubt one of the albums of the year.
Congratulations on the release of your debut album. Have you been pleased with the media response so far?
Thank you! I have been pleased – I honestly didn’t know what to expect and tried to go into it without any expectations. It’s been great to see people understand the music and relate to it.
The songs were written over a number of years. Can you let us into the thought process in choosing the final twelve tracks that made the cut?
Like the songs, the recording the album was also drawn out over a number of years. I would write a new song that I liked and then go into the studio with Steve to record it – so it came about in a very organic way. Around January/February of this year was when I decided to put it all into an album and release it – I also got pregnant around that time and figured I needed to get this out there before the baby comes!
Has your writing process changed over the years?
I have a notes list on my phone where I write lyrics as they come to me. Then when I sit down to write a song, I will just play and sing whatever comes out and when I get stuck on words I refer to my notes and gain inspiration from that. I don’t think that process has changed a whole lot over the years actually. My writing spots have changed – these days my favourite place to write is sitting by our bedroom window and looking out at the street, watching people walk by. Usually with our little corgi Gus sitting next to me.
You come from a very musical family. Did you start playing guitar from a young age?
I didn’t actually – my dad and brothers played guitar, but I started with the piano. I started piano lessons when I was six and then (against my mom’s wishes!) quit in early high school. I am so thankful to have had that musical foundation, along with singing in different choirs along the way (church, school, etc). I didn’t really learn how to play the guitar until I was in college – the first song I learned was “You were meant for me” by Jewel. It’s a finger picking song, which I think is why I tend to always pick my guitar songs rather than strum them – it’s how I learned and how I’m most comfortable playing guitar. My last year of college was when I wrote a song on the guitar for the first time.
The new album is co-produced by your husband, Alex Lee, and also music legend Steve Dawson. How did you come to meet Steve and collaborate with him?
I met Steve when I took his song writing class at the Old Town School of Folk Music in Chicago – such a wonderful place and Steve is such a great teacher. That class really opened up song writing for me – I loved meeting people from all walks of life and seeing the different ways they interpreted the world through their music. Writing songs just for the catharsis of it, in such a supportive environment, and not viewing it as a way of competition (which I had with music my whole life doing singing competitions, etc) has been really revolutionary for me. Everyone has something to contribute.
The album was recorded at Chicago’s Kernel Sound Emporium which is run by Steve. What was the experience like and how long did the recording process take?
It’s a great experience recording with Steve – I would go in and record my guitar part and vocals, and then he would usually pick it up from there - adding in whatever he felt was right, whether that be bass, guitar, percussion, lap steel, etc. Then I’d usually take it home and listen to it with my husband and we’d decide if we felt anything needed to be added or taken away. He makes it very easy and I’ve grown so comfortable there.
The playing on the album is beautifully restrained and in perfect synergy with the lyrical content of the songs. How did you discuss the overall approach to the song arrangements and did you have the final say on what was kept in the final mix?
I can honestly say that we didn’t discuss it much – I think Steve understood the songs and my taste, and a lot of times we would add in a few instruments on top of my vocals and guitar and decide that it didn’t need much else. And I did have a say in the final mixing – what I usually had the most opinions about were my vocals – I would decide to take out or add in harmonies here and there, etc.
You used very few musicians on the album. Was this a deliberate decision when working out the delicate song structures?
I can’t say that it was deliberate! Like most else on this album it just happened that way – I was lucky to have Steve who can play anything and my husband who plays guitar, drums and basically anything else you throw at him, so I didn’t feel the need to have any more musicians. Other than Bill Evans – who is a wonderful musician and close family friend – he was very close with my dad and I grew up going on camping trips with his family and many others. On the trips he would play guitar and sing by the fire - it just felt right to have him contribute to the album too.
The album content strikes me as deeply personal and I know that you lost both your brother and father during the writing of the songs for the album. Was it difficult to bare your inner feelings with such a vulnerable approach to the project?
It is extremely personal. I have to say, the day the music was released I had a real feeling of “oh no, what have I done…” But when I’m writing the songs and playing them for people, for some reason I never feel self-conscious about them being so vulnerable. I think being that vulnerable is how you get the best and most honest songs. It would be hard for me to write in a different way.
Do you always write from personal experience or do you consider writing in character occasionally?
See answer above – it’s definitely harder for me to write in character! I have tried, but it never feels genuine. I would love to be able to build that skill more.
Your vocal tone and delivery is very emotive and nuanced. Did you have voice training over the years?
Thank you! I did have voice training – when I was in middle and high school I took voice lessons and I went to Boston University’s Tanglewood Institute in Lenox Massachusetts the summer after my junior year in high school. It was an opera program, and I quickly realized through being there that opera wasn’t my passion. But I have such an appreciation for it. Folk music and the music that I grew up listening to is what really feeds my soul.
You are also an accomplished artist and your drawings and paintings are very evocative. Do musical ideas and melody come to you in the same way that artistic creations translate to paper for you?
They are very different to me – art is calming and music is how I really feel my emotions. When I sit to write a song, I think that’s when I give myself permission to let it all out and express myself.
The album cover has a beautiful drawing of a moth. Is there any significance to the image in terms of the music?
Yes – moths represent death, rebirth and new beginnings. It felt like the perfect cover to me, given the content of the album. The vines around the moth also represent growth and new beginnings – the white flowers start as buds at the bottom and blossom as you get to the top.
Songs like Sugar and Dirt suggest the dichotomy in being human; the good and the bad in trying to balance personal feelings. What lay behind the original instinct in writing this song?
I wrote that song in 2023, which was a tough year for me. Alex and I had been trying to have a baby and it took a bit longer than expected. I think that brought out a part of me that I wasn’t always proud of – so I was just reflecting on myself and all of my contradictions. The line “I am everything I have always been, for whatever that is worth” is just saying – I am who I am, take me or leave me! And then it felt right in the second verse to relate that to life, how it’s all sugar and dirt as well, and that will never change.
On Time Is A Thief you question the relevance of memory; whether it can be trusted over time. Do we hold on to memories like a crutch, in a way to reconcile mistakes of the past?
I am a very nostalgic person, probably not a surprise. After my dad died, I made a list of everything he would say to me and all of my favourite memories of him because I was so afraid of forgetting. And then I think I realized that you can try all you want, but time always makes those memories fade. And I’m sure as they fade, we do distort them somehow to make them less painful - our minds try to protect us in that way.
The song Wraith seems to deal with the price we pay for supressed emotions and feelings. Is the ghost in the song a metaphor for depression?
It is – the wraith is a metaphor for alcoholism and depression, both of which run in my family. I was speaking with my aunt on the phone one day, and she was talking about someone in our family who struggled with alcoholism and said she viewed it as their “wraith”. I immediately wrote it down and thought it was a good idea for a song. I wrote that song towards the end of the pandemic. It was a time when everyone had an excuse to be isolated, which is a tough thing for people with addiction and mental health struggles. I was having my own struggles and was worried that the “wraith” that is so strong in my family was coming for me too.
New beginnings is a theme and a thread that runs through the album. In moving to a big city like Chicago do you enjoy the anonymity of being a small part of a greater whole?
It is! I think sometimes, all you can do is just begin again. I realized after the album was done how many times I reference starting over. In Anyway “I will rise again and start my day, and I’ll think about you anyway”. In On a String “each morning start again, with myself make amends” and obviously the song Begin Again is all about the same thing.
Yes – I love the anonymity of living in a city where most people don’t know me. I’m from a town in Missouri that isn’t super small, but I know a lot of people there. I think living out my twenties in a place where I was mostly ‘anonymous me’ has been so good for my growth. I was able to go to open mics and it didn’t matter if I messed up, because I didn’t know anyone who would remember it. And a big city is so inspiring when it comes to song writing – so many different kinds of people with so many different stories to tell.
Have you toured much in support of the new album?
I had a release show at the end of September, but I haven’t toured. I am due with our daughter any day now, so after the album release I have been mostly preparing for that big change in our lives. That has made it hard for me to do any sort of touring, but I would like to in the future.
Do you have plans to play outside of the United States in the near future?
That would be an amazing experience, I am definitely open to it.
In our opinion you have produced one of the albums of the year. How does it feel to receive external recognition after all the internal battles to hone these songs into their final delivery?
Wow, thank you for saying that – I can’t tell you how much it means to me. It definitely feels good – I feel really proud that I was able to make art out of a period of my life that was so difficult. Releasing this album feels like I am now able to release that time in my life and move forward.
What are the next steps for you in building a career?
My goal was to get this music out there before our baby is born and after she is born I hope to slowly get back into playing shows and writing more music. Maybe some lullabies ☺
Is there anything else that you would like to leave us with in conclusion?
Your thoughtful album review and wonderful questions mean so much. Thank you for really listening to the album and appreciating it like you have.
Interview by Paul McGee